20 Bollywood films that tanked but never fail to entertain
There’s no dearth of terrible movies in Bollywood. Every second Friday is marked by releases that were better left unmade. And this parameter is true to other film industries as well it’s not specific only to Hindi cinema.
In all probability, very few films hit the mark while a majority become laughing stock. Hitlist takes a look at some of the silliest films which are so absurd that they unintentionally entertain you...
KARLE PYAAR KARLE (2014)
Director: Suneel Darshan
LOL-factor: Contender for one of the silliest films of the year, it’s like a music video punctuated by clichéd hamming and an idiotic screenplay. Try not laughing at the childish dialogues uttered by grown-ups keen to show off their bods every now and then in this avoidable movie. But don’t avoid it: you’ll miss out on a rather effective stress-buster.
RAJDHANI EXPRESS (2013)
Director: Ashok Kohli
LOL-Factor: Undoubtedly one of the worst films to have hit the marquee last year, this movie was a masterpiece in its own (unwanted) category. Leander Paes’s tryst with acting (or should we say, hamming) leaves you with moments that not only lack logic but also leaves you chortling like never before.
Director: Ishan Trivedi
LOL-factor: Released in an era when Himesh Reshammiya’s songs were playing full-on in local auto-rickshaws, this film highlighted the composer’s prowess as a non-actor. But he’s not to be blamed as much as the film’s sloppiness. The film reaches the nadir of cluelessness — repeatedly like a stupid song on loop.
THE LIGHT: SWAMI VIVEKANANDA (2013)
Director: Utpal Sinha
LOL-factor: If you were a famous personality, this is exactly the kind of film you wouldn’t want your biopic to look like. With the pace moving at a laughable pace and onscreen characters hamming their hearts out, you will end up with aching jaws and enlightenment of the wrong type.
KISMAT LOVE PAISA DILLI (2012)
Director: Sanjay Khanduri
LOL-factor: This film was so bad that it turned into a laugh riot — inadvertently, of course. After a point, you don’t even sympathise with the storyline. Pointing finger and laughing take over. With a plot that had more loopholes than potholes in our city, the film was a disaster senseless enough for a revisit. Oh yes, did we mention it stars Mallika Sherawat in the leading role?
Director: Kamaal R Khan
LOL-factor: ‘Have money, can make money’ was the whole mantra behind this controversial venture. With a producer who stars in his own production, the filhum becomes hysterical at points. After watching KRK’s performance, you understand why he never worked in another film.
CIGARETTE KI TARAH (2013)
Director: Akashaditya Lama
LOL-factor: Check this one for an epic cinematic moment where the protagonist is drunk and delivers a speech of sort on a beach. Here’s the catch: He’s neither drunk nor can act. The film is filled with such forgettable instances of absolute epi proportions that will force you to laugh out loud instead of just cringe in your seat.
Director: Kaizad Gustad
LOL-factor: The one thing that troubles you about this film is the presence of Naseeruddin Shah. And that too in a role that doesn’t do justice to his calibre. Oh, we forgot Sachin Joshi and Sunny Leone. The former pretends to be an actor while the latter is given hapless risqué dialogues. Perfect combo though.
Director: Guddu Dhanoa
LOL-factor: If you thought Tabu couldn’t possibly star in a horrible film, you’re mistaken. Hawa is one of the filmographic lows of her acting career that is best forgotten. But then, when was the last time a Bollywood horror film scared us instead of making us laugh our guts out?
Director: Ram Gopal Varma
LOL-factor: Who in his right mind would even touch a classic like Sholay? Well, RGV would. And he did. Thus he gave us his take on the film that has been unparalleled in modern history. The very sketch of his film is worth pointing fingers at. And the rest is mystery.
Director: Sachin Bajaj
LOL-factor: Over the years, Bollywood has been accused of lifting plots from Hollywood under the disguise of being “inspired” without shelling out a penny. This adventure film was clearly based on Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade but the execution forced it to look like a comical adventure.
Director: Ram Gopal Varma
LOL-factor: The question that keeps ringing in your head while watching this dance drama is “Why?” because you just don’t get the point. And the film does little to help you understand. Either RGV is a misunderstood genius or we misunderstand him.
Director: Prabhu Deva
LOL-factor: It doesn’t take long to figure out that a story isn’t going anywhere you’d like to accompany. In masala films like these, that’s when the real fun takes place. The characters turn giddy to the point that it’s utter travesty but fun nonetheless. This film is a milestone in this peculiar regard.
SATYA 2 (2013)
Director: Ram Gopal Varma
LOL-factor: If you haven’t seen Satya (1998) yet, you wouldn’t know how abysmally hopeless this sequel is. But at the same time, you can take solace (and a few moments of mirth) from the lead actor’s attempt at trying to be the ‘real’ protagonist. It’s so ridiculous that you should be practically bawling.
MERE HAULE DOST (2013)
Director: Nitin Raghunath
LOL-factor: It’s because of indie films like these, independent cinema sometimes has to think twice before calling itself ‘independent’. Incredibly soulless and technically careless, there’s not a single moment worth cherishing. But the overall cast is stellar in the sense that they are overwhelmingly naive.
Director: Anubhav Kashyap
LOL-factor: It’s difficult to guess whether Ranbir Kapoor can ever forgive himself for being part of this mammoth failure. Regardless, it’s so illogical that you can’t complain either — at least not critically. Everybody on the screen is basically strolling in the park during working hours.
SHORTCUT ROMEO (2013)
Director: Susi Ganesan
LOL-factor: Believe it or not, this crime thriller was mentioned with Cannes in the same sentence — but that’s a different story. As an audience, you can’t help laughing at the whole disarray in this film. The story doesn’t go anywhere worth going as its absurdity is mind-boggling. Just one word: hilarious.
JAANI DUSHMAN: EK ANOKHI KAHANI (2002)
Director: Rajkumar Kohli
LOL-factor: One of the side-effects of starring in a supernatural film like this is you end up in Bigg Boss about a decade later. Armaan Kohli knows that by now. And if you haven’t watched this masterpiece yet, you should. They don’t make it bad like that
Director: Shirish Kunder
LOL-factor: Calling this debacle a sci-fi would be an insult to the genre. With nothing to lean back on, the storyline moves from choppy to disastrous. And you keep thinking “Why am I doing this to myself?” but you don’t leave because it’s...err..fun.
The one and only
Since its release in 1998, Mithun Chakraborty-starrer Gunda has earned a cult following thanks to its absurd storyline, over-the-top dialogues, low production values, poor acting and so-bad-that-it’s-good qualities.