Angoor Aadmi

And so Arvind Kejriwal has controversially named his new political party Aam Aadmi (AAP) much to the chagrin of the Congress, who feel that they coined the term. The next day the FDI came to see me. No, not the Foreign Direct Investment officials. This was the Fruit Delegation of India.

Illustration/ Amit Bandre
Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Like Noah’s Ark, they came in in twos. Every conceivable kind of berry, hesperidium, drupe, pome, and pepo bobbed through my door. Even the dry fruits gang came in boxes - (one raisin told me how busy he had been during the Diwali season, but he had made time for this vital meeting).

The head of the FDI, an overweight overripe apple, began pompously, “You see, Kejriwal may be forced to change the name of his party if the Congress puts pressure, so we may need to pick a new name to replace Aam Aadmi - in any case, why should he call it Aam? The mango is a seasonal fruit and so very expensive - ‘Aam Aadmi’ is an oxymoron - it is a rich man’s fruit, a totally wrong name especially if you want to start a political party for the common people.”

His chief chamcha, a small chickoo, said subserviently, “Sirji, he should name his party after you.” “Hear hear,” an overzealous plum agreed. The head of FDI said, “Nahi, nahi, the name Apple Admi could seem like a Macintosh Computer outlet and Sev Admi, will sound like an NGO, so I humbly back out of contention, unless you all insist.” No one insisted.

A sturdy yellow banana piped up, “I am truly the common man’s fruit, inexpensive and nutritious. How about Kela Admi as an alternative name for Kejriwal’s party?” A group of female citrus fruit, giggled flirtatiously. “What an awesome idea, Banana Dude.” A jealous guava objected - “No way, the banana peel is a symbol of being slippery, like most politicians, something which Kejriwal is trying to disassociate from. I suggest Aamrood Aadmi which also sounds like Aam.”

A laidback pear suggested, “Hey guys, what about Nashpati Aadmi?” “No way,” said a surly pineapple, “Sounds too much like a drunken husband, I recommend Ananas Aadmi.” An enthusiastic orange started jumping up and down. “Be quiet, you are orange, the colour of another political party. By default you are out,” the FDI head said.

Then all hell broke loose, as every fruit tried to put forward its case. Names like Angoor Aadmi, Amrood Aadmi, Leechi Aadmi, Anaar Aadmi , Kalingad Aadmi, Sitaphal Aadmi, Kharbooja Aadmi, Mosambi Aadmi, and Papeeta Aadmi, were discussed and rejected. With that, the fruits all turned to me - “You decide what his party should be renamed.” “I would call it KBC - Kejriwal Beats Corruption”, I said simply.

Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62 The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper.

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