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Blast from the past

Updated on: 19 May,2009 09:38 AM IST  | 
Swati Kumari |

Getting into bed with your former flame may raise eyebrows, but it's not uncommon. People who miss their ex beast on bed are often led back to the same old gullies out of feelings of familiarity and comfort.

Blast from the past

Getting into bed with your former flame may raise eyebrows, but it's not uncommon. People who miss their ex beast on bed are often ledu00a0 back to the same old gullies out of feelings of familiarity and comfort.

While for many, it becomes a new, expressive outing, others keep it short and sweet, no strings attached. Whatever the case, their are some basic rules of the game. Here's our comprehensive guide.


Fantasies turn wild when things end midway. When such is the state, you tend to walk the sinful lanes of the past, and pacify yourself by returning to old beds.


Turning Desperado?
Primarily, the urge comes from a desire to fulfil basal instincts, and if you've just broken up or have been single since long, the only person who comes to mind is the one you've been with, before. Beyond that, the craving could arise from friendship, dormant feelings, or simply to restore the love. "Sex with a former partner can be tempting for many reasons.

You feel you can be yourself with whom you've had a past; there is no hesitation, and making out with a new person in the initial phases is tongue-tied. In the former case, we know their likes, dislikes and strengths," explains Dr Anup Dhir, andrologist.

It's not just sex
If you broke up recently, sexual intimacy is likely to reignite feelings that may still be there, even if you believe 'it's just sex'. "Having sex with the ex can bring back a flood of emotions and memories. You may be able to stay emotionally uninvolved, but your partner might not be," thinks Dr Arti Anand, clinical psychologist, Ganga Ram Hospital.

Adding to this, Dr Dhir says, "It is a mixed bag. Feelings can resurface for some couples, and this could be sour. It is fine if you are trying to patch up. Medically speaking, it is an unsafe proposition, and will cause emotional pain."


Doing it right
To save heartache on both ends, you can do a check before indulging in such an act. "Keep focussing on the reasons as to why you ended the relationship, and then stick to your do. If you wish to be in contact, don't be afraid to tell your ex-partner that you want to keep the relationship non-sexual or avoid it," warns Dr Dhir. Good luck, guys.

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