Growing up, I was part of a protected household like most families in small-town India are

Don't want to marry my girlfriend or settle down

Dear Diana,

Growing up, I was part of a protected household like most families in small-town India are. So it wasn't unusual that I had no girlfriend until I was 19 and in college. The only trouble is that my folks found out and insisted we get married the day I turned 21.

I put my foot down and said that we were just friends and that there was nothing more there (I was lying. We had been intimate but there was no way I was going to get married to the first girl I went to bed with). Now I'd like to believe I'm fairly good-looking and sufficiently confident despite my outdated upbringing.

But the trouble is, my folks keep a hawk-eye on all my activities. I'm going to be 21 soon and I'm afraid they'll force me to marry my girlfriend, who has been more than happy to endure the long wait. I want to see the world and don't want to be tied down. How do I get out of this one?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,

We won't go into stereotypes here. But let me say this: you seem to have turned out quite progressive despite your conservative upbringing. Obviously, your overprotective family isn't going to see things your way. If they're orthodox or know more than they are letting pass, you ought to be prepared for the consequences.
u00a0
I guess you can't be forced into marrying someone you don't want to, but they are your parents and it doesn't look lilke they are going to take no for an answer. So your argument to avoid it has to be a foolproof one. Don't marry if you don't want to, but don't lead this girlfriend of yours on into believing she can at least change your mind. If you do not make this sufficiently clear, things could get worse than expected.

He has lost his emotional crutch

Dear Diana,

Two years back my colleague was jilted by his love. After that he began hating girls. He never let any woman enter his life again. Just two months back, a girl came to his life as a sister and changed his life. As he doesn't have a younger sister, he liked her as his own sister and heard all that she had to say.

He returned to his happy days forgetting the past but now a friend of the girl has created a rift between them. As a result, she stopped talking to him. He still says that she is one of the best sisters one can have. Now we are scared he may return to the lifestyle he gave up. Please suggest something for both of them.

Pooja

Dear Friend,

It seems this unfortunate guy has been a victim of his own inability to cope with a failed affair. If he went horribly wrong in life because of that one failed love affair, he has no one but himself to blame. He needed an emotional crutch and this new girl filled in the voidu00a0-- as a sister. If she really was such a great person, she'd never let another person's opinion cloud her own.

She probably made a difference to his life which is probably why he misses her so much. He had a support system in his friends a little too long. If he wants her back in his life, he will have to fight back and fight hard to tell her what she means to him.

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