'He won't stop sending vulgar texts and pics to me'

Sep 11, 2017, 07:35 IST | Dr Love

My boyfriend sends me vulgar messages and photographs on WhatsApp, assuming they will turn me on. I am so annoyed that I am considering blocking him, but this may create problems in our relationship. How do I get him to stop? It's a waste of time and energy, but he doesn't seem to get it.
If you find something vulgar, you are well within your rights to block him. You may be doing him a good turn in the process too, preventing him from harassing other people with messages like these.

I have been married since January 2017. My wife has a male best friend who has been in contact with her regularly. I have reasons to believe she is controlled by him. They live in Kerala, while I work in Gurgaon. At first, she said she had a problem with my mother. I later received messages about her wanting to spend time with this friend in her hometown. She continues to stay there, instead of with me, despite my calling her regularly. What do I do? I want her back in my life.
- Ajin J
If you suspect her of having an affair, and have confronted her about this, you may simply have to explore legal options. I can't comment on what these options are, because that little detail about not being a lawyer gets in the way, but you are dealing with an adult here, which means you simply have to deal with what her decision is and decide whether or not this marriage really wants to be saved. If she refuses to move in with you, for whatever reason, it's obvious that she doesn't take this relationship as seriously as you do. Why not simply ask her what she wants and, if she says it isn't working out, talk about what the two of you would like to do next to get on with the rest of your lives? Why live in a state of limbo like this if there's no hope of things changing?

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