Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My girlfriend and I were invited to a party a few days ago. She got drunk and began flirting with another friend of mine, who promptly told me about it and asked me to take her home. This isn't the first time she has done it. I have asked her to stay away from alcohol because it changes her as a person, but she thinks I'm being over-protective. This isn't about me trying to control her life; I'm simply trying to get her to recognise the fact that she changes when she is under the influence, and not in a good way. How do I get her to see things from my perspective?
Alcoholism is a problem that doesn't discriminate between men and women. If your girlfriend changes who she is the minute she has a few drinks, you should try and figure out why she behaves the way she does. There could be other factors driving her behaviour, with alcohol simply playing the role of a trigger. Talk to her about why she does these things, get other people to speak to her about the changes they see in her, and get her to recognise that these changes aren't necessarily good. It's her right to decide whether she wants to keep drinking or not, obviously, but all you can do is show her a mirror and allow her to make up her mind.
There are a number of things that bother me about my boyfriend, but I never say anything because he is so touchy about any criticism. He thinks he does nothing wrong, but I find it frustrating that I can't even point out anything that offends me. How do I deal with this?
If you care about him, you have to speak up, not just because this will save your relationship, but because you owe it to yourself. A thin-skinned man is not a rarity, and the sooner he recognises his mistakes, the better it will be for you both.