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'She refuses to show me her WhatsApp messages'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I recently found my girlfriend chatting with an office colleague on WhatsApp and she refused to show me the conversation when I asked her to. Is she cheating on me?
Your girlfriend is entitled to her personal space and is under no obligation to share her conversations with anyone. Also, chatting with someone has nothing to do with her cheating on you, unless you have stronger reasons to suspect her. Your relationship ought to be based on trust, so this suspicion is troubling because it implies that you don't trust her enough for her to be able to speak to anyone. Think about that for a while.

My boyfriend has a habit of avoiding me whenever we have a fight. He doesn't speak to me for a couple of days, and I am always the one who has to approach him and get him to start talking to me again. I have tried to explain to him that this behaviour is childish and not healthy, because his inability to communicate will only end up harming our relationship, but he apologises and promptly ends up doing it again. I am beginning to get tired of this and am afraid I will reach a point where I won't want to care anymore. What can I do to get him to change?
Your boyfriend is under the impression that ignoring an issue will make it go away, which a surprisingly large number of people think is a good way of dealing with things. I'm not sure how he can change, especially if you are always the one to crumble first. Why not pay him back in his own coin and avoid speaking too, just to see how long he can take it? If he doesn't get in touch, it's obvious that he doesn't take this relationship, and you, as seriously as he ought to. At the very least, he will realise how frustrating it is to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't communicate effectively.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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