'I feel guilty about getting physical with my ex'

Mar 20, 2017, 07:10 IST | Dr Love

I got married 3 years ago but separated within a month because I was extremely unhappy. My ex-husband was completely immature, very narrow minded and a coward. He used to behave like an illiterate person

I got married 3 years ago but separated within a month because I was extremely unhappy. My ex-husband was completely immature, very narrow minded and a coward. He used to behave like an illiterate person. My most important reason though, was the fact that I had been in a relationship with a boy for around a decade prior to this. He was responsible, loving and caring, but I left him out of selfishness, because I wanted to live a secure life and he was from a lower middle class family. But after my marriage was fixed, I told my family that I wanted to marry my boyfriend, but they refused and I didn't have the guts to stand up to them. After marriage, I found out a lot of things about my in-laws, starting with the fact that they didn't own some property they had said they owned. They lied about my husband's qualifications too. I found out that he hadn't even finished high school, while I am a post graduate. I finally divorced him and am dating my boyfriend again, but I feel guilty because I got physical with someone else who was not my boyfriend. I feel like leaving him sometimes, because I feel as if I don't deserve him. I am sometimes suicidal because of it. What can I do to get rid of this guilt? — Suminav C

 

Everyone's entitled to a mistake sometimes. You thought you did something wrong, took steps to correct it, and went back to someone who loved you and clearly continues to love you. To feel guilt is normal, because we all do things that make no sense every once in a while. I suggest you focus on the fact that you have a possible future of happiness ahead of you, with someone you really love. Leave the past behind and focus on a life that involves you both. At the very least, do it for this boyfriend of yours who waited for you.

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