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'She never lets me get intimate with her'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

I have been in a relationship for more than a year. It is going well, we share a good relationship and communicate often. The problem is, whenever I try to be intimate with her, she objects saying she doesn't like it at all. She doesn't even like phone sex. What can I do about this? She has never had physical relations with anyone.
- Heet S
It's fairly normal for people to be averse to physical intimacy, especially if they haven't been in any relationship before. Not everyone finds it comfortable at first. She obviously needs time to come to terms with the idea of opening up to you physically, and there's nothing you can do but support her until she is ready. If you truly care about her, you should give her the time and space to get used to the idea. Maybe she needs to trust you more. Maybe she's just nervous. Maybe she's insecure about something. Ask her why she feels the way she does and tell her how you feel. And don't pressure her into doing something she doesn't want to.



My boyfriend doesn't like hanging out with me as often as I would like him to. He says he needs more space, which is weird because I don't meet him every day. He says it is good for our relationship, but I don't understand what he means. What should I do?
Your concept of space is obviously different from his, which is perfectly normal. Not everyone in a relationship feels the need to spend every waking moment with his or her significant other. Also, it takes time for two people to figure out what the other's notion of personal space is. Give it some time. You will eventually understand what he means, and he will eventually figure out what makes you happy. It's part of the process of evolution that every relationship goes through. Until that happens, maybe you should relax and try enjoying the time you do have together.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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