'We love each other but want to get closer'

Feb 07, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

My boyfriend and I spend a lot of time together, but we don't seem to be as close to each other as some of our friends do. We watch a lot of movies together, eat out a lot, even go on holidays together, but I get the feeling we are just not as close as we should be. Is there anything we can do to change this? I spoke to him about it and he feels the same way sometimes. What should we do? We love each other a lot and don't want this relationship to deteriorate.

I don't get what you mean by 'close', actually. I don't know how long the two of you have been together, but the idea of closeness or intimacy only grows with time. If you spend a lot of time together, that's great. If you open up to each other about how you feel, that's even better. It takes time for two people to get to know each other well, and to develop a sense of intimacy, physical or otherwise. The fact that you love each other helps, because it means you are both more than happy to continue spending time the way you currently do. Give it some time and you will feel whatever sense of 'closeness' it is you wish to feel. I suggest you stop comparing yourselves to how your friends feel though. This is a relationship, not a contest like Big Boss.

What can I do to make my boyfriend stop looking at other women? It annoys me but he doesn't stop doing it, even if he's not very open about it.
There's nothing you can do. Your boyfriend will look at other women because, unfortunately, that is what a significant number of men on this planet do. He's not going beyond looking at them though, which is all that should matter to you. Also, he's not doing it blatantly which, in some twisted way, shows that he knows you disapprove.

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