'I want to travel but he wants to save up'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

I want to travel as much as I can, but my boyfriend thinks of this as a waste of money. He says we should save for a house together, which is a good idea, but I want to have a good time too. I don't see the point of spending my youth only on saving for the future when I can see the world which, in my opinion, is a nicer way to live your life. We speak about this often and I feel that, at some point, we will get to a point where we can no longer be together. Is there something we can do about this?

It does seem as if you both have different views about how to spend your money, but that isn't a bad thing at all. The good thing about a relationship involving two people with different views is how they adapt and learn from each other. You both have valid reasons for your decisions, because travel is as good a way of living as saving up for a house, but you won't get far without a compromise of sorts. This can only happen when you both take a call on how important this relationship is to both of you, and how much it is worth saving. If it's worth the hassle, I'm sure you will both find a way to make it work.

This isn't really a problem at all, but I was wondering if all relationships involve a hell of a lot of decision-making. It sometimes seems as if my girlfriend and I spend more time trying to decide where to go and what movie to watch and where to eat than we actually spend time doing those things. Is this normal behaviour?

Yes. It's how people in any relationship figure things out and learn about what the other person likes or dislikes. As long as you both end up having a good time doing whatever you do, how does it really matter?



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