'I got a text from a secret admirer - what do I do?'

Jun 13, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

My secret admirer recently texted to say she has been attracted to me for a while. I do not know her yet. How should I reply to her text? - OB

I'm afraid the only thing to do is arrange to meet this admirer. If it turns out to be a friend of yours playing a prank, any other message can turn out to be embarrassing for you. If this person really is an admirer, he or she should have no problem with meeting you in person.

There is a girl in my college who is extremely nice and who says she has feelings for me. I have feelings for her too, but family problems make it impossible for us to be together. I can't tell her how I feel because it will hurt us both later. I really miss her though, and at least want her to be my best friend. When I gave her my reasons, she became so nervous and emotional that I regretted it instantly. What can I do? I have tried everything I could. - Arjun S

I'm not sure I understand. Have you or have you not told her how you feel yet? I don't know what your personal problems are, but I suppose you need to come clean and tell her what they are to give her a better idea of why the two of you can't be together. If you really would like her to be your friend, honesty is pretty much the only thing you have to convince her. You can always spend time together and chat about other things to make her feel comfortable. That's how friendships start, don't they? Not everything has to be a heavy conversation about life and your reasons for being the way you are. Put aside ideas of a possible relationship for now and just get her to open up a little. When she understands you a little better, she may accept your reasons more calmly too.

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