'How do I get him to stop asking for nudes?'

Jun 27, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr. Love


Illustration/ Uday Mohite

My boyfriend keeps asking me for photographs of my private parts, which I am not comfortable with. We are currently in a long distance relationship. We were in the same college for a year, during which he never asked me for any photographs. It is only after he left for another city that his tantrums began. He doesn't demand anything else. I know he loves me a lot and can do anything for me, but I can't keep giving him these pictures. Is there a solution?
— Juri D
Your boyfriend needs to understand that any photograph of yourself is your personal property, and his demands are essentially a violation of your personal space. These photographs can easily make their way to the public domain if his desktop or smartphone is hacked, which a situation that is increasingly possible. If you're not comfortable sending him any photographs, you shouldn't. You shouldn't be coerced into doing anything you don't want to, because if he genuinely loves and respects you, he won't force you. Speak to him and tell him about your fears. If he insists, refuse and let him deal with it.

I love this lady a lot but she seems a bit reserved. She knows I like her, but I would like her to be a little more open. I feel like she is my soulmate.
— Peter W
You can't expect everyone to be as outgoing or open about their feelings as you are. If you really do like this person, why not simply focus on getting her to be more comfortable with you to begin with? Spend some time with her, get her to feel safe and easy in your company, and give her as much time as she needs to open up. A lot of people find it hard to discuss their feelings, simply because it isn't something we talk about as often as we ought to. If she has something to say to you, she will, but only when she's ready.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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