'She never wants to try anything new in bed'

Mar 14, 2017, 06:09 IST | Dr Love

My girlfriend and I always have sex the same way, which is not really a problem, except it starts to become boring after a while. She says she doesn't want to try anything new in bed, despite the fact that we sometimes watch pornography together and are okay with watching other people experiment. She doesn't understand that physical intimacy is an important aspect of any relationship and I'm worried that we may drift apart because of something so trivial. What can I do to remedy this?

It clearly isn't trivial if it has compelled you enough to write in about it. It's also clearly a problem despite you saying it isn't, because you're worried enough to consider the ending of this relationship. Sex is different things for different people though, and what appeals to you in bed may not necessarily appeal to her. I suggest you start by simply talking to her about it, rather than trying to do something. Get to understand why she likes doing what she does, and what puts her off from the idea of considering something new. Also, a large part of physical intimacy stems from emotional security. It's how close and comfortable she is with you emotionally that defines what she will or won't consider doing physically. If you are both open enough to discuss anything and everything under the sun (and there's no reason why you shouldn't), I'm pretty sure she will be open enough to try something new in bed at some point. Until that happens, all you can do is wait and give her time.

My husband never allows me to watch soap operas because he says they are mediocre and a waste of time. I think he's being a snob. I agree that some of them are regressive and pointless, but they help me pass my time when he's not around. What should I do?

He's right. They are mediocre, regressive, often misogynistic and a complete waste of time. Read a book instead.

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