'She chats with her ex-boyfriends every night'

Oct 06, 2017, 07:30 IST | Dr Love

My wife has a habit of chatting with her former boyfriends late into the night. She admits this, and I don't feel threatened or anything, but I also find it strange that they have so much to talk about, and for so long

My wife has a habit of chatting with her former boyfriends late into the night. She admits this, and I don't feel threatened or anything, but I also find it strange that they have so much to talk about, and for so long. I have asked her to cut down on those calls, but she calls me a jealous husband and teases me about being insecure, which makes me shut up. I am genuinely affected by these conversations though, because I sometimes get the feeling she tells them more about her life than she tells me. I may be irrational, but this is causing some serious friction and awkwardness between us. Why can't these ex-boyfriends of hers see that this is strange, considering she is now married to someone else? How do I get her to see where I'm coming from?
If this bothers you as much as it does, and you feel as if she communicates with these friends of hers more than she does with you, I think it's a problem. Let's put aside whether her ex-boyfriends ought to call her or not, and focus on why you and your wife have a problem with communication instead. Does she speak to other people because she isn't comfortable speaking to you? Do you encourage her to talk to you about anything and everything? I suggest you think about your behaviour with her too, and figure out if there is more you can do to get her to speak with you. If you manage to sort that out, her need to speak with ex-boyfriends may no longer exist. And yes, if this bothers you a lot, please tell her about it, even if she accuses you of jealousy.

When is the right time to stop having sex with someone, if you know you are going to end the relationship with them?
The correct answer to this question is probably 'immediately', but that is something only the two of you can decide.

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