As two football powerhouses clash tonight, we present a light-hearted guide to the Brazil vs Germany clash
Just how good they are?
BRAZIL: They have a superhero in their team — Hulk. Sadly, he doesn’t smash much!
GERMANY: They are so good that even these England fans have started supporting them.
BRAZIL: Brazil’s obvious weakness seems to be their inability to keep their emotions in check — a situation that won’t be helped by Neymar’s injury.
GERMANY: Vulnerability to air conditioning! Before the France quarters, no less than seven Germans had symptoms of flu. Coach Joachim Loew attributed this partly to the ACs in Brazil.
Most likely to...
BRAZIL: Break down into tears in the middle of the game.
GERMANY: Get a goal and then relax.
They can win if...
BRAZIL: Neymar plays today.
GERMANY: They can somehow prevent David Luiz, special DNA and all, from dominating the game.
BRAZIL: Neymar. Helio Sillman, a voodoo priest based in Rio de Janeiro, has cursed Germany.
GERMANY: Manuel Neuer, who started the tournament as a goalkeeper, played against Algeria almost as a central defender and could play as a midfielder soon if his coach has his way.