'Finding a man is not the key to happiness'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. I am 18 and want to get engaged to a good, rich man. I am fed up with my life and want happiness. What do I do?
A. The world's oldest woman, Emma Morano of Italy, turned 116 last week. She was asked about the secret to her long life and credited her longevity to being single since ending an unhappy marriage at 38. If you're fed up with life at 18, finding a man will probably just make things worse. This is because, as history teaches us, men always make things worse. Your preference for a 'good, rich man' is also troubling, because you insinuate that men who aren't well off cannot be good, and vice versa. I suggest you focus on yourself for a while and defer thoughts of engagement and marriage for a few years. Try and find something that gives you a sense of fulfillment; preferably something that doesn't involve a man.

Q. Are dating sites safe?
A. Safe for what? Finding someone safe enough to date?
I suppose they're as safe as a recommendation from a neighbour about who you should go out on a date with. Interestingly though, a reputable online dating site may actually be safer than some word-of-mouth recommendation because a lot of them take profiling very seriously. Personal details are kept confidential, you have control over who you contact and talk to and, until you decide to meet the person in real life, you are actually quite secure. Unfortunately, one can't control lunatics who create fake profiles to lure people into relationships with them, but then, these people have been around long before the Internet came into being.

Q. My girlfriend doesn't have a picture of us together on her Facebook page. Should I be worried?
A. It's her Facebook page and she can put what she likes on it. If she chooses not to advertise her relationship with you, that's her prerogative and you must learn to respect it. If you can't handle that, yes, you should be worried.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to

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