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'Gay, straight... Stop obsessing over sexuality'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. I'm a 21-year old man who has never been on a date. I have never liked the idea of going on a date either, and like spending time with men more than women. In fact, I have no female friends. Am I gay?
A. A preference for hanging out with one sex over another changes with time and is perfectly normal. Are you sexually aroused when you are around certain men? If you can’t answer that question, maybe you should give it time. Our bodies work in mysterious ways. Stop obsessing over your sexuality because it is only a small part of you. The need to label ourselves is something society thrusts upon us at an early age. If you’re gay, you’ll know it. If you don’t know it yet, don’t rush it. You have a whole life ahead of you to figure it out.

Q. What causes homosexuality?
A. The answer depends on whom you ask the question. Religious folk will blame people who don’t follow their religion. The BJP will blame the Congress. Unemployed people will blame the government, coming up with a conspiracy theory that makes sense to them alone. Young testosterone-fuelled men from Delhi will refuse to admit that homosexuality exists, while Mamata Banerjee will refer to the Communists for some reason. The fact is, there is no consensus on the cause. Psychologists list everything from unhealthy childhood relationships to sexual conditioning, genetics to cultural influences, sexual abuse to distorted concepts of gender. Why worry about the cause though? Homosexuals deserve to be treated just like everyone else. Let’s keep that in mind, shall we?

Q. Will gay parents make their children gay?
A. The jury is out on this one. While some psychiatrists believe that children raised by gay parents may experience sexual confusion, others have found overwhelming evidence that there is no negative impact of any sort to children of same-sex couples. More research is obviously needed to figure out whether or not gay parents can influence the sexual preferences of their children.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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