Got a promotion? You may lose your spouse

A new US-based study suggests that greater job autonomy spells havoc as far as your love and family life goes. iTALK helps you walk the fine line

Got a promotion? You may lose your spouse

A new US-based study suggests that greater job autonomy spells havoc as far as your love and family life goes. iTALK helps you walk the fine line

"I arise in the morning, torn between the desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day", said American writer EB White, describing what most of us feel today. While everyone's congratulating you on bagging better job responsibilities and control, here's a small warning employees with high levels of job autonomy and control over work schedules are more likely to bring work home with them, says recent research by the University of Toronto.

Workers who need to make key decisions tend to work at home or communicate with colleagues outside of normal hours, often triggering conflict within their families.

Using a survey of more than 2,600 American workers, sociology professor Scott Schieman and Ph.D. student Paul Glavin examined the impact of schedule control and job autonomy on work-family role blurring. Role blurring is measured by how often employees bring work home and how often they receive work-related contact outside of normal working hours. The more flexible your operations, the more you are at risk.

The study also revealed that men in autonomous jobs are more affected than women in similar autonomous jobs.

But you needn't worry. Here's a guide to deal with modern day's necessary evil.

How do you deal with it?

Rakshanda Khan, actor
Television is such a crazy place; you have to make sure you leave your work behind to unwind. Unless it's an emotionally exhausting scene, I make sure I step out of the studio with a free mind. As you grow in the industry, you know that the only way to beat stress is to cut yourself off and spend time with loved ones, when the day's work is over.

Anirudh Choudhury, scriptwriter
We work on project basis and often end up sating at work for two days at a stretch. When we do go home, we make sure it's all done and over.

Mannika Singh, PR professional
I try to finish most of my work during office hours. I do that by avoiding frequent breaks. It helps me keep the tempo going.

Ramkumar Uppara, associate vice president at a communications firm
The company has given me a laptop, but I avoid carrying it home. This keeps unnecessary family trouble at bay. But my job needs me to be available on phone irrespective of day, date and time. So, I can't help being busy on holidays too. Balance is the key. You can't put a blanket ban on carrying worku00a0 home. That's impractical.

Don't be a control freak, learn to delegate

Jaspreet K Alagh, corporate trainer and director of management solutions firm Core Excellence, gives you a guideline

>>Ideally, it's best not to take work home, even if it means staying an extra hour in office to complete whatever's at hand.
>>Sometimes, it's not possible to escape responsibilities even at odd hours. If something has consumed your personal time, make up for it later apologise, plan a surprise, spend as much time with your folks, whenever time allows.
>>Delegation is important. Don't be a control freak. See that you have a team of trusted, competent subordinates and give them the authority to take decisions is your absence.
>>Time management is the key. Use organisers, a to-do list, set time limits for routine work.
>>Make sure you eat, sleep and exercise well, apart from engaging yourself in mentally and spiritually uplifting activities. Good well-being will keep you in good spirits, which is a must when it comes to interacting with family and friends and going for fun outings.

Thoda adjust karo! At least for your partner

Dr Pallavi Bar Thakur
If you are at the receiving end and feel victimised by your partner's never-ending work needs, we empathise.

But that doesn't give you the license for silly self-pity. "If your spouse does it to you, it's important that you understand he/she is doing it for you and the well-being of the family, apart from personal ambition. You must adjust and accommodate instead of creating a fuss. If things get too much to bear, communicate and work out alternate strategies together, since it's a shared concern," says Dr Pallavi Bar Thakur, relationship expert.

"Those who are striving to juggle work with personal life, should make sure the family doesn't feel neglected. No important events and occasions should be missed due to work, even if it means staying up late after everyone's gone to bed," she says.

Warning bells

So, you do take work home every now and then, but feel it doesn't upset your spouse. Read these signs to know for sure:

>>If he/she is acting cold and distant, it's likely you are behind the mood.
>>Your partner always has plans with others, and the reason is "I thought you'll be busy, so..."
>>The kids are closer to the maidservant than to you.
>>You don't remember the last time you watched a film at home.
>>The driver remembers PTA meeting dates better than you do.
>>You most often miss what your mum-in-law was saying; you're mostly preoccupied with your phone.
>>You've stopped caring what's for dinner.

Learn to multitask, say No

>>Put your cell phone on answering machine. If you can't resist, listen to messages every once an hour to gauge importance.
>>Make yourself believe that separating yourself from work is imperative for long-term work success.
>>Learn to say "no".
>>Master the art of multitasking.
>>Set a start and finish time for yourself, if your work hours are flexible. This way, you don't lose the discipline, and won't feel guilty while spending time with family or friends.
>>Don't base your feelings of responsibility and achievement on problems at hand. Rather, base them on the outcomes by asking questions like 'by when do I need to close it?' (urgency), 'how much time would I need to work on it?' (duration of execution), and 'are there other tasks that need to be completed first?' (how important is the deal/client when compared to personal commitments).