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Great Indian faff trick

Updated on: 28 December,2009 08:56 AM IST  | 
Satish Purohit |

The Narayan Dutt Tiwari videotape scandal illustrates afresh the Kamasutric aphorism 'once the act begins, no sutra applies'.

Great Indian faff trick

The Narayan Dutt Tiwari videotape scandal illustrates afresh the Kamasutric aphorism 'once the act begins, no sutra applies'. As people, we Indians, politicians or otherwise, do it and do it all. But before the act comes much posturing. Some of us eventually get caught, but, until then, we don't give up lecturing others on morals.
And we sound as pious when we quote slick aphorisms from the scriptures as we are incurably decadent in the way we lead our lives. We faff much and then go ahead and do it all.u00a0u00a0

Our hypocrisy extends to food as well. What one eats, or rather does not, is bandied about as a mark of how spiritually evolved one is. So, there are those who make a religion of what they eat, where they eat and even whom they eat with. We make it a point to tell anybody who would listen that nothing that has onion or garlic or egg has ever passed our lips, and then look sheepish when caught golfing down omelettes, pav-bhaaji or bhurji.

Indian nature repeatedly seeks to counter excessive moral strictures with the poetry of protest
The somewhat weathered joke about Gujarati/Jain/Brahmin meat-eaters pushing the price of chicken northward is not funny anymore because many are doing it now. Many, to their credit, openly. The rule, when it comes to these things, is u2014 loftier the professed ideals, hollower the reality.

Not surprisingly, Indian nature repeatedly seeks to counter excessive moral strictures with the poetry of protest. The objects of the poets' derision are ultra-correct gents who use long beards, flowing robes and magisterial voices to influence others. The waiz or preacher of Urdu poetry has been targeted for centuries now.

'Na tajurba kaari se, waiz ki yeh baatein hain/ Uss rang ko kya jaane/ Poocho to kabhi pee hai? (The waiz speaks from inexperience/ What does he know of the colours of intoxication/ Ask him if he has ever taken a swig),' asks Akbar Allahabadi.


There is the minor poet Ma'il Lucknowi with his ribald, no-holds barred verse that celebrates the act of sexual union: 'He is respected by all, but he extends all respect to me/ Since the day I sodomised the preacher, all his acolytes offer salaams to me.'u00a0

And then there is Kabir, the great deflator of pompous postures. Here is what he has to say about those who assume great postures but are of little help to anyone: 'Bada hua to kya hua, jaisa ped khajoor/ Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laageu00a0 to door (What's the point in being big like the date tree?/ It does not provide shade to the weary traveller and its fruits are beyond reach.'



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