Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for six months. I am not yet sure if he is the right guy for me. He keeps springing surprises and splurges me with gifts. He seems to have already made up his mind that I am the girl for him. I don't know why I am not yet convinced about him. At the same time, the way he is going about, I don't know how to tell him to go slow. I do not want to break his heart. He thinks I also like him and that we are made for each other. My guy gets carried away too fast. He is all out to prove that he cares for me. Often, I find this irritating. How do I tell him to go slow? I dread to think that if I feel he is not the guy for me, he will be devastated. It is not that I an leading him on. He is going too fast, too soon. On the other hand, I prefer to be cautious and slow in my approach.
— Naina

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Naina,
Your guy has made up his mind and you also need to take a decision soon. If you want time, you need to tell him clearly. It appears that this man is busy planning a future with you, while you do not even know if he will exist in your scheme of things. He is impulsive and a happy-go-lucky individual while you want to be safe, rather than be sorry. You may not be leading him on, but at least you can tell him to go slow. For starters, stop him when he goes on an overdrive buying gifts for you. This is his way of making you happy and you seem to be enjoying it. At the same time, if you two sit down and talk things out, he will have a clear picture of what is going on in your mind. It is time you were honest and forthright with him as he is with you.