'He just wants me physically...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with this guy for over a year. He is 35 and I am 26. We met through common pals and then one thing led to another. I often get this feeling that he is with me to satisfy his sexual urge. He is single currently, but was in a relationship earlier.

He told me he broke off with his ex as she would never listen to him. I am assuming she had the same problem that I am facing. When I refuse to have sex with him, he gets annoyed and does not talk to me for days. Then it is me who has to keep calling him and say sorry umpteen times.

He then relents and things are back to normal till I refuse again. He switches off till I repeatedly plead with him to forgive me. I really do not know what to do. I have tried to drop hints, but he does not listen. He says it is all about being physically intimate as nothing else matters to him.
- Mona

Dear Mona
It looks like this guy only has sex on his mind. If he really wanted you to be his life partner, he’d involve you with many other things in his life. But he has only one mission in life. He has been demanding and you have been giving in. In a relationship, both partners are equal.

As things are in your case, he has the upper hand. You do not have to submit to him everytime and then go begging to take you back. He is well aware that he will get his way and you will be back in his life. This guy is not ready for a long-term relationship, he is surely going to leave you messed up.

Tell him exactly how you feel and what is going on in your mind. If he really cares for you and loves you, he will change. If he does not, it is time you end this relationship and move on.

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