'He keeps flirting, but won't get serious'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. I found a boy on an online marriage site and liked his profile. He stays in Amsterdam, is a software engineer and is now a neuroscientist and roboticist. I don't think he is serious about a relationship though, because his Whatsapp chats are just flirty. What should I do?
A. Were you specifically looking for a boy from Amsterdam because every boy in your city failed to live up to your expectations? Did you expect a serious relationship with someone living on the other side of the planet? Do you usually engage in WhatsApp conversations with absolute strangers? Do you really believe a roboticist can also be a neuroscientist as well as a software engineer? Are you always this naïve? I think you should end all conversations with him, look for someone who is either a software engineer, or a neuroscientist, or a roboticist, and pick someone who lives in the same time zone as you so you can meet him in person and figure out whether or not he is serious about getting into a relationship with you.


Q. I would like to know what the easiest way to ask your man to go for an HIV test is.
A. This is a worrying question. Do you want your man to go for a test because you believe he isn't faithful to you? If that's true, the test may not be your biggest problem. Having said that, an HIV test is extremely important for a number of reasons, starting with the fact that contracting the virus may eventually lead to your death as well as his, in the absence of the right treatment. If you're nervous about asking him, why not suggest that the two of you go for the test together? Try and make him understand how important it is for his own health too, while pointing out that it doesn't mean you don't trust him. If you want him to get a test for no apparent reason though, just because you're a paranoid person, you should consider a test of sorts yourself.

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