'He's not yet ready for a relationship...'

Dear Diana,
I know this guy well. He had a girlfriend. Recently, however, he broke off with her. He then turned to me to tell his sob story and what went wrong. He felt his girlfriend was too demanding. I gave him a patient ear. Now, I have realised that I like him. I have been dropping hints, but he tells me he is not ready for it. I understand as after a break up, I don't want him to rush into anything. He has been spending time with me and gives me the occasional thoughtful compliments, but he still talks about his ex. Should I be okay with this stance of his? He knows his girl is gone from his life, so why is he still remembering her? He just needs to move on and be with me. Or am I being impatient?
— Lopa

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Lopa,
This guy needs some time to heal his broken heart. He is still grieving for what went wrong in the relationship. He is going slow as he does not want to be in a relationship on the rebound. He wants to take time off before falling in love again. You have to understand his situation and let him be for the time being. He wants to be sure before he takes the plunge again. Meanwhile, for now, give him a patient ear. He needs a lot of emotional support so just listen to him. Help him overcome the heartbreak and move on in life. This will take months, even a year, so you have to be patient with him. Be his buddy for now. If you rush him in the relationship, things might backfire. You just might end up losing him. So let him be for now. Meanwhile, do things to show you care. Win him over by being there for him whenever he is in an emotional mess. Remember he will be yours in time to come, so do not mess up things from your end. You need loads of patience to deal with him.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

    Leave a Reply