I was friendly with this guy for over a year, but things did not work out for us. He was of a controlling nature. He would keep tabs on me all the while. I was quite fed up of his habit and told him how I felt about it. He told me to give him a chance and that he would change his behaviour. Last week, to my shock, he said he wanted to break off. He alleged that I was acting in a highhanded manner and that I was too demanding. I was taken aback. After being together all this while, I did not expect him to be so harsh towards me. I was devastated as I thought he would change for me. He showed no remorse while I am still crying for him. A common friend tells me that he was taken aback when I told him about his controlling nature. Was I wrong in telling him about it? What do I do?
Illustration/ Uday Mohite
In a relationship, both partners are equal. This guy could not take it when you told him the truth. He felt humiliated and decided to go his way. If he really cared for you and loved you, he would not have acted in such a manner. This guy was not for you. Nor was he worthy of your love and you are better off without him. You are still grieving for the loss. Time will heal your wounds, but it is in your best interests to move on. The next time you feel like crying, tell yourself that this man did not care for you, so why even grieve for him? It is good to be open and honest in a relationship, but your guy was not man enough to deal with it. You are better off without him and will find someone worthy of your love. At the same time, do not be in a hurry to get into another relationship on the rebound. Keep yourself busy so that you do not harbour any thoughts about him.
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012