'Her double standards baffle me...'

Dear Diana,
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly three years. She is well-known for her rebellious attitude, but I seem to have found her caring, loving side. But the problem is her three ex flames. One is her college crush, the second guy is a former colleague and third is her brother's friend. I admire her for staying in contact with them and merely being friends. But sometimes I resent the fact that they are so close, especially when she spends time with them. She considers herself as one of the boys. According to her, they are all her buddies. Though I am okay with her staying pals with them, but when she finds me talking to a girl she gets jealous. She tells me she is possessive. She likes to be in control of things. I've tried talking to her about this multiple times, but she doesn't seem to get it. I feel as though I'm at a loss because of her double standards.
— Daniel

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Daniel,
It is clear that your wants an upperhand in everything and wants to be in control. You have allowed her to take the lead so she calls the shots in the relationship. It is not right on her part to tell you not to talk to any other girl, especially when she is having a time of her life with all her ex-flames. You are mature enough to accept her despite her rebellious streak. She, however, finds it unacceptable when you indulge in any casual conversation with any woman leave alone any ex flame. This is clear double standards on her part. Tell her if you do not mind her talking to guys, why does she have a problem when you speak to a girl? Ask her to put herself in your shoes and gauge the situation. Either you knock sense into her head or go your way. You are better off without this woman.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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