How can we get it on if he never stops masturbating?

Dec 07, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

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Dr. Love

Dr. LoveMy boyfriend masturbates all the time, which makes it hard for him to actually have sex with me when we're together. I have asked him to stop, but he is addicted to it and this is really affecting our sex life. How do I get him to stop?

If he can't satisfy you, and is not interested in doing anything to change that, he needs to be aware of the fact that this could harm his relationship with you. Being addicted to masturbating is not an excuse, and he needs to be aware of that quite clearly. He can always consider speaking to a counsellor if it's affecting his life in some way.

A week ago, my boyfriend told me he was going to get himself tested for HIV. I freaked out, because this didn't make sense. I asked him if there was a reason, and he said it was just a mandatory test because he had applied for a job abroad and the company insisted on all candidates getting tested for a number of things before being offered a position. I asked if he had ever had unprotected sex with anyone before me, and he denied it. He wasn't very convincing though, and I don't know if his reason for getting the test is genuine. I am really scared now, and I don't want to have sex with him until I see the results. I am considering getting tested too, because I am so afraid. Should I end this relationship if I can't even trust him?

If he has a valid reason, and has to get tested, why assume the worst? Has he given you any reason to doubt him? I'm not sure I understand where your paranoia is coming from. He says he hasn't had unprotected sex, but you think he has, simply because he wants to get tested. If you're worried, do get tested, by all means, but try and figure out why this doubt about your boyfriend's honesty is creeping in too.

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