'How do I say no to a date without hurting her?'

Nov 14, 2017, 07:28 IST | Dr Love

Dr. LoveDr. Love

How do I tell someone I don't want to be in a relationship with them without hurting their feelings? My friend believes we have a spark between us, but I don't see it. Will my being honest ruin our friendship?
If this is a friend of yours, what makes you think lying about how you really feel is a good idea? Why assume how your friend will react? You don't want to be in a relationship, so what choice do you really have but to speak up and explain? Honesty shouldn't be seen as a threat to any friendship; on the contrary, it is a prerequisite for a strong relationship with anyone.

I am 29 years old, as is my girlfriend. We have been together for 6 years now. We started as friends before falling in love. A few years ago, we had a huge fight and, in anger, I said some things about her that ruined her reputation in the eyes of my family. I realised it was my mistake a while later and we got back together. Unfortunately, my parents are still against her and don't like her at all. How do I convince them to change their minds when my girlfriend and I decide to marry? Please help.
— Abhishek P

If you recognise the fact
that it is your comments that changed the way your parents look at your girlfriend, it is up to you to sit them down and explain why you painted that picture of her. Own up to your mistake, tell them how you really feel about this girl, and explain why their approval matters to you. If you are considering marriage, you also owe it to her to explain your actions and get her to understand why your parents feel the way they do about her. At the end of the day, I'm going to assume your parents trust you and your judgement. All you need to do is be honest with them.

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