How to go from here to here
Hoping to be the guy standing at the water cooler with a smirk on his face tomorrow morning? Find out what the experts have to say on ways to impress her for guaranteed results later tonight
Angelique Jerome, a former employee of American director Woody Allen, has admitted to being terribly disappointed by sexy Irish actor Colin Farrell's lovemaking skills.
The 24-year-old revealed that she had to fake orgasms, "to keep him happy and let him keep his dignity." Why? It seemed the polite thing to do. "It was too clinical," she confessed, adding, "Once he'd got what he fancied - in about 10 seconds flat - he just wanted to go to sleep."
We figured if one of the World's Sexiest Men could do with a little help from his friends, we too could do with some advice from the experts. At least we know we're not the only ones groping in the dark. Here then are five tips to help you stake your claim as the new Mr Loverman:
Sulk to win her attention, at least, at first
A study published in the American Psychological Association Journal suggests that brooding is likely to get you further than flashing your most winning smile.
The reason, experts claim, is that the act of smiling is likely to make a man seem less strong, powerful or masculine when compared to a man who seems aloof or moody.
In the study, more than 1,000 adults were asked to rate the sexual attractiveness of hundreds of photos of the opposite sex. The expressions of the men and women in these photographs ranged from happiness (broad smiles) to shame (lowered heads and averted eyes).
The idea was to explore first impressions of sexual attraction to the opposite sex. The team, from the University of British Columbia, Canada, said that the findings were consistent with gender stereotypes of the "submissive and vulnerable" woman, as the men were found to be more attracted to happy, smiling women.
However, as past experience is likely to have shown, if you're already in a committed relationship, sulking won't get you very far.
Remember the way to her heart is through her stomach
Sixty-six per cent of the women interviewed for a Men's Health survey revealed that they would be more likely to have sex with a partner, after enjoying a meal cooked by him.
Behavioural and psychological therapist Dr Nivedita Rawal, however, doesn't believe that the approach would work with Indian women "given the cultural setting."
"She may respond to extra effort... if it's her husband," says Dr Rawal adding, "Women are more emotional creatures than men, so if she's comfortable with you, cooking for her may work, but I wouldn't count on having much luck with a stranger." So, if you're looking to charm your ladylove, keep in mind that a little affection goes a long way.
If you've just started dating, another study offers hope: Just holding a cup of hot tea, makes women perceive their companions as 'warmer' people. So, make sure, as Anu Malik sang all those years ago, 'Ek garam chai ki pyali ho...'
A survey commissioned by Swiss chocolate and confectionery company Lindt that polled 2,113 adults in the UK, revealed that while women are regular users of Facebook and Twitter, more than half would feel disappointed to receive a wall message or tweet instead of a traditional greeting card on Valentine's Day (surprise!).
The study also found that 78 per cent of women said they would love to receive a romantic letter or poem; 62 per cent would like to be complimented on their appearance; 33 per cent said they appreciated men who made eye contact. Just make sure you're making eyes at the woman you're with, and not someone else.
Coo sweet nothings in her right ear
With the help of a young actress, psychologists, Daniele Marzoli and Luca Tommasi conducted a study at night-clubs and bars around Pescara, Italy and found that leaning in to speak to someone in the right ear gives you an advantage.
"Some work has shown that the left and right hemispheres of the brain appear to be tuned for positive and negative emotions, respectively.
Talk into the right ear and you send your words into a slightly more amenable part of the brain," the psychologists concluded. This advice, apparently, works as well for both the sexes. So, when you whisper those sweet nothings, just make sure you do it the 'right' way.
Don't fake it
According to a study published in the Psychology of Music journal last year, women are much more likely to agree to date someone, when romantic music plays in the background.
The findings resulted from experiments conducted by French psychologists, who in previous experiments, had learnt that men shelled out more cash on flowers when romantic music was playing (florists, take note).
The psychologists put the effect of romantic music down to either societal conditioning or to the possibility that listening to such music actually makes one more optimistic about romantic prospects. Dr Rawal says that it's the thought behind the gesture that counts.
"Any act of authenticity whether it's taking a girl out for dinner or giving her flowers may make a woman romantically inclined, if she thinks it's coming from a genuine place," she says, adding, "If there's a dissonance between the gesture and the feeling behind it, it probably won't go down well."
Actress Prachi Desai reveals the 4 things you should never say to a woman in bed
Another girl's name
"Are those real?"
"Do you want to take a shower first?"
"Hurry up! The match comes on in 10 minutes."
How Hollywood's Jamie Foxx keeps it real on February 14
"I never fail on Valentine's Day," American actor-singer Jamie Foxx claimed in an interview, during promotions for the 2010 rom-com named after the holiday observed on February 14. "You got to downsize," he laughed in reference to the economic downturn, adding, "You have to start doing stuff like going to the park or something. And say stuff like,'This is what it's really about. It's just me and you right here."