Firstly, refresh your memory - whether you dated a long time ago or not it is important to truthfully remember your past love relationship exactly as it was not how you fondly think back on it now, News.com.au reported.
Don’t just rely on your memory, look at pictures, read old notes and letters, or whatever you have. Talk to family and friends who knew you then, and knew the two of you as a couple back then. Ask them what they remember and ask them what they recall was great about you as a couple.
Also ask them to tell you how they think you have changed or if they know your past love now, how they have changed too. Everything you hear gives you information to make good choices for yourself.
Secondly, listen to their story – a relationship is not a one sided experience, so as you start communicating once again with your first love, especially with regard to dating again, it is important that you spend some focused attention on listening to their life story.
You want to tuck what you think you know about them away and try to get to know them again almost as if they were a brand new person to you. Do not work from assumptions that they are the person you once loved.
They may have changed in unexpected ways and they have a life history that has shaped them too, and you need to get to know them all over again. You can choose to sit together and tell each other your stories or reminisce together about some of the favourite times you shared and see if those common interests are still there or not.
Thirdly, make sure you want the same things this time around – it is too tempting to assume the person you loved once before is still the person you can easily fall in love with now.
Lastly, take it slow and heed any red flags – you have waited this long to be together again and much like dating a friend there is a lot to lose by going back to someone. You have fond memories and it would be a shame to ruin those by rushing into something together now.
Don’t jump into bed or a serious relationship right away without dating first and taking the time to get to know one another. And if there are any red flags, heed them.
Don’t simply get seduced with the idea that going back to your past love will be your fairytale happily ever after as every relationship, rekindled or new, has its challenges and is very real.
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