How to

Hi Sandhya,
I want to tell you that I really enjoy reading your column in Sunday Mid Day. My problem is a bit odd. The thing is, I simply don't know how to accept compliments from people. I don't think I'm particularly beautiful or smart and I feel this constant need to prove myself and make people like me. And when I see that they do, I automatically turn distrustful of them, and begin to wonder if they have ulterior motives. This happens with acquaintances at parties, co-workers, even family members at times. I don't really like this about myself, but I don't know what to do about my trust and self-esteem issues! What do you advise?
Thanks, Mistrustful

Dear Mistrustful,
Thank you. Glad to hear that you enjoy reading my columns because I enjoy writing them. If I were you, I would wonder why you were complimenting me, being nice to me, and wonder what you want from me, right? Kidding! Your problem is not odd, so chill. Most people I know don't know how to accept compliments, including myself on certain occasions. So, that's not really an issue.

What bothers me is that you say you don't think you are particularly beautiful or smart and that you feel the constant need to prove yourself to people and make them like you. That's ridiculous and there is no way to change that. But realise it is, and CHANGE IT!

You are what you think you are, so how about thinking well of yourself? What people think is what you let them think, plus it really doesn't matter what people think. This may sound stupid but you need to reassure yourself every day -- you are smart and beautiful (and slightly crazy)

I sincerely suggest you jot these affirmations down every night before sleeping. Write the best stuff you can think about yourself.. whatever comes to your mind. They should be positive traits that are part of you or those you wish to imbibe -- bright, smart, beautiful, happy, whatever you wish. Just write and, in time, you will learn to believe.

Like I said, you can be whoever you think you are, so think beautiful! You are the only power in your world. God made us that way.

Besides, if you are writing to me, I think you are pretty smart :)
Love, Sandhya

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