How to

Oct 30, 2011, 07:49 IST | Sandhya Mridul

Hi Sandhya,
I am 36 year-old married man with a baby. My problem is that my wife isn't interested in having sex with me anymore, and says she isn't in the mood. As a result, I end up masturbating, but I am not satisfied. Of late, I have been finding myself attracted to a married woman, and have developed sexual feeling for her. I often get aroused when I see beautiful women. What I should do?
Thanks, XX

Dear XX,
I can't help but notice that you ended your mail with 'XX'. You really are desperate. Okay, kidding! What's happening with you is quite common. Very often, after delivering a baby, women lose their desire for sex. You have to understand that it's not easy for the woman. She has undergone a serious hormonal upheaval. Then there's breast feeding and extra weight issues to be dealt with, and that doesn't make her feel any better about herself. To experience desire one has to feel desirable!

But the good news is that it's a phase. So, stop fretting because it's not a forever situation. It will pass.
Till then, go ahead and please yourself but stay away from other women, married or otherwise, because that's not fair to the woman who you share a child with.

You need to understand her, and stop acting like a child who's not being given candy. Talking to her about it might just help. See what she has to say and hear her out. Maybe you'll understand her better. This is between the two of you, so you need to try and sort it there first.
Love, Sandhya

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