How to

Hi Sandhya,
I have been in a relationship with my best friend for over two years and it's been one of the best and most stable phases of my life, despite it being a long distance relationship. I always knew I was bisexual but never really explored that side of me until recently I was told by one of my close friends that she always had a thing for me. Now I realise that there is some spark between us, emotional and physical, and one night in the flow of things we ended up getting intimate with each other.

Sandhya Mridul

It was the best moment of my life and I don't regret it one bit and it has happened several times after that. The only thing that bothers me is that I cheated on my boyfriend and that too with a person he considers to be a very close friend. I really want to spend the rest of my life with her but she isn't the type to go against family and take such a bold step. At the same time, I don't want to lose out on my best friend and hurt him. Please help.
Thanks, Superbly Confused Soul

Dear S.C.S,
Firstly let me congratulate you on discovering your sexuality. Many people go through life not experiencing their true sexual calling. It's very important to be aware and comfortable with your sexual needs.

My advice to you is -- be clear in your head about who you really love. It could be that you are infatuated with the woman because of tremendous sexual satisfaction. Love is a transitory migratory bird!

I personally feel it's important to spend you life with a friend and a great companion because friendship doesn't fly out of the window like love does in many relationships. And if one is not sexually content, it leads to infidelity.

Nobody is forcing you to choose between your boyfriend and your best friend. The question here isĀ  -- why can't you have the best of both worlds? Enjoy the fortune you have been given and cross the bridge of settling down when you come to it?!

Because deception is a cruel game, and doesn't make anybody happy and ends up hurting everyone concerned,
I suggest that you figure out what matters to you more at this stage in your life. -- love and commitment, or sexual satisfaction. Nobody can make that choice for you!

Love, Sandhya

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