How to

Hi Sandhya,
I'm 17 years-old and have been with my 22 year-old boyfriend for around six months. We have always had a good time together and have always got on really well until a few weeks ago when he started to act weird.
Over the past few weeks he's been disappearing for a few days and nobody has been able to contact him. On days when he has been around he's been acting irrationally about everything.

Up until a year ago my boyfriend was heavily into drugs but he had claimed that he would never take drugs again because of everything he lost at the time. The way that he's been acting of late makes me think that maybe he's fallen off the wagon again. I don't know what to do because I love him so much and don't want to lose him. But if he is back to his old ways then I don't think it's a good idea to stay with him. What do you suggest?
Thanks, Confused Teenager

Dear C.T,
Don't be confused. You need to be calm and clear. If this is what you think he's upto then you need to gently confront him and ask him straight if you haven't already. If you have, then try once more and if it doesn't work, walk!

You cannot help anybody who doesn't want to be helped or change somebody who doesn't want to change. Nagging or arguing won't help either. So it's best to put some distance between the two of you and let him know you won't encourage or allow this anymore.

Hopefully in your absence he will realise what he's losing again to drugs. I do suggest however that if you are close to his family you let them know what's up so that somebody is aware of the problem and can make a responsible decision.
Love, Sandhya

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