I have been married for 11 years, but feel my husband and I are stuck in a rut. There is no intimacy any more. My husband's job involves a lot of travelling all over Maharashtra, so he is away for half the month. We have no children. A few months ago, I met this man at a family function. I feel I have fallen in love with him. He lives in Qatar. He is a divorcee with a teenaged daughter. We have been talking a lot, and I feel drawn towards him. He is well off and unlike my husband, he makes me feel loved and special. I desperately want to be with him. Should I go with my heart and try and make a new start with this new man or stick it out with my husband for the rest of my life. I have been in a dilemma since the past three months. What do I do?
Your relationship has reached a plateau and you feel you are merely existing, not living. The spark has gone out of the marriage. Many couples go through this after years of marriage. Intimacy goes out of the window due to lack of time and interest. You are so caught up in daily life that there is no time for anything else. Your husband's job involves travelling, so you can't blame him as he is doing it for a living. But whatever stopped you from being gainfully employed or having your circle of friends? Life is what you make it. There is no point cribbing when you can take charge. You want to leave your hubby for the new guy as you feel he will make you happy. He is a divorcee, so first find out what had gone wrong in his marriage. Just let things grow for now. It looks like your hubby has no clue what is happening on your front, telling him will be the most difficult part. Depending on how he reacts, you will have to take your next step accordingly.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012