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'I am caught in an unhappy marriage...'

Dear Diana,
I am 51 and in an unhappy marriage. I have a female friend who is single and in my age group. We keep in touch over the phone mostly due to office work. I got to know her during an office conference and hit it off well. I now feel she is the woman for me. How do I express my feelings to her? I have been married for 23 years and have no children.
— Subramaniam

Dear Diana
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Subramaniam,
If you are caught in an unhappy marriage, you have to first decide whether you want to move on and go your way. You will have to seek a divorce first from your wife before you plan a future with this other woman. Also, express your feelings for this woman and gauge from her reactions if she is really interested in you. If she shows interest, only then think of separating from your wife. Also, it will be a time of turmoil for your wife and how she reacts, so gear up for the emotional upheaval too.

Dear Diana,
I’m 27 and have trouble with alcohol. I don’t drink a lot, but when I do, I have too much which causes me to make a show of myself. I don’t know when to stop. Then for days, I feel guilty and ashamed. All my self-confidence is lost. My pals make fun of me and mimic how I behave a few glasses down. This leaves me feeling depressed. I’m also scared as I could potentially be putting myself in danger.
— Sally

Dear Sally,
You get carried away when you are on a drinking spree, so what’s important is that you should know when to stop. If you are not in your senses, make a pal who you hang out with stop you when you are going in for another glass. Your problem can only be solved by self-control. If you cannot stop yourself, there is no point feeling bad when others make fun of your drunken stupor.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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