My girlfriend and I have been together for four years. We used to work in a travel agency, till I quit for better prospects. I turned 29 last week and my parents are now keen that I get married. When I had broached the subject of marriage last year, she said to wait for a year. Now when I asked her, she says she can't see herself getting married for the next five years. As she is a tour operator and travels extensively for work, she feels marriage will be a deterrent. I have made it clear that she can continue with her job and travelling. Her indecision is taking a toll on the relationship. She comes up with some excuse or other when the subject of marriage comes up. With my parents pressurising me to get married, I can't afford to dilly-dally as they are lining up prospective girls for me. I really do not know what is on her mind. Will we just drift apart? Or should I just give her an ultimatum and then go my way?
She appears to be commitment phobic or just does not want to get married to you. Either way you need to know the truth. She is playing the waiting game as she just wants to buy time and keep you hanging. If she loves you and is serious about you, there is no need to be indecisive. Tell her that your family is keen on marriage and that she needs to make up her mind. Does she consider you just a friend or someone special? Give her a time frame by which she needs to say a yes or no. When you have made it clear about her career anxieties after marriage, there is no need for her to worry. If she is not interested in you, she needs to tell you clearly, what is going on in her mind. It is then better that you go your way.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012