I am 45 years old and in a relationship with my cousin. He is eight years older to me. He is caring and protective. We connect well with each other. He is the only person who understands me and will go to any lengths to help me. I am hopelessly in love with him. We have been having a physical relationship for the past several years unknown to anyone. Of late, however, he has been avoiding physical relations with me. Though he still cares for me, I cannot get over him. Why is he behaving in this manner? What do I do?
You are 45 and your cousin is 53. You have been having an affair for the past several years, so it is strange that you did not think of taking a decision all these years. The changed behaviour of your cousin may be because he has realised the relationship is not heading everywhere. He is growing older and so are you. Physical intimacy will be on the wane. Also, do you belong to a community where marrying cousins is considered a taboo? If so, it will be a tough deal. Looks like after all these years, your cousin has finally decided to stop having a physical relation with you. Your family will not only oppose the marriage, but there will be chaos. You are mature enough and knew well enough that this was a relationship that had no future. Your cousin has already showed signs of going his way, it is time you, too, did the same.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012