'I am scared to approach her...'

Dec 29, 2014, 06:50 IST | Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I have taken a liking to this woman who I feel is older than me. At least she appears to be. She works in the same legal firm as me, but in different departments. I am obsessed with her and go through her Facebook page just to look at her pictures. I see her every day at work and we just smile at each other.

Illustration/Amit BandreIllustration/Amit Bandre

My problem is that I am so intimidated by her, yet I love her. I find it hard to even greet her when she passes by. It took me months before I could actually smile at her and it took even more longer to send a friend request on Facebook. She has accepted my friend request though. How do I overcome my fear? I want to strike a conversation, but what if she just turns me away? What should I do and how should I approach her? I am afraid of rejection. I know several common friends in the office, but don’t know how to tell them about my feelings.
— Hitesh

Dear Hitesh,
You work in the same office, so it should not be too difficult to strike a conversation. You can always come up with an excuse about work and talk to her. You feel that she is older to you, so instead of speculation find out the truth. The next time she passes by, don’t just smile, but initiate a conversation.

It could be anything related to work or about the canteen and the coffee that is served. From then on, you will be at ease and not tongue-tied in front of her. Also, remember, if you don’t approach her someone else might and that will make the situation worse. Get over your inhibitions and fears, she has already accepted your friend request on Facebook, so you can talk about one of her posts. Don’t worry too much and try not to overthink either. Once you start talking, things will be easier for you. First rid yourself of the mental block.

Diana will solve it!

Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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