'I am seeing my girlfriend with new eyes...'

Dear Diana,
I am 27 years old and in a committed relationship. We are planning to get engaged in March. As the date draws closer, my girlfriend feels that I should stop treating her like a baby. She feels that I not only call her baby, but treat her like one. She is pretty and sweet. I have always been babying her for the two years we have been together. She feels I am being a father figure to her and it is time I treated her like an adult. My girl tells me in a relationship both partners are equal, but I have an upperhand with her having no say. She feels it is always me that is making the decisions and she has nothing to do. Ever since she has voiced her concerns, I am now having second thoughts. I have this strange feeling about getting physical with her. We also rarely get intimate now. I no longer see her as the way I used to. It is like I am now seeing her with new eyes. Do you think it's over between us?
— Neel

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Neel,
Your girlfriend appears to be independent with a mind of her own. She has clearly told you how she felt before the engagement as your behaviour is irritating to her. All this while she may not have told you about it, but now that things are getting serious, she certainly needed to voice it. Some women like their guys doing the baby talk and pampering them and being over-indulgent, but your girl does not belong to this class. She is mature and wants to be treated on par. It is strange that she did not stop you all this while from overindulgence. You are doing it because you care for her and are protective of her. But if she does not like it, stop doing it. Also, sit down and talk it over. Tell her frankly how you feel so both of you get things cleared before the engagement ceremony.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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