'I am worried about my children...'

Dear Diana,
I am 47 and have two daughters. My wife and I are drifting apart. We keep squabbling daily and there is nothing left in the marriage. We are making it work for the sake of the kids. But our relationship is going from bad to worse. It is a hostile scenario. The thought that we should go our ways keeps nagging me as my wife is making life hell for me. I am worried about my young daughters as my wife has already started poisoning their ears against me.
— Dipesh

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Dipesh,
First and foremost take a decision. Once you are clear about going your way, you need to explain to your daughters why you think it is in the best interests of everyone. They have been witnessing the constant friction in the house, so they are aware of what is happening. You have to explain to them that as a father you will always be there for him. There is no point in talking ill about your wife to them as she is their mother. There will be turmoil, but over a period of time things will ease out. So be patient and always be there for your kids.

Dear Diana,
I'm a single mother and I've been having an affair with a married man. His wife found out last month and raised an alarm, so we decided to not meet as someone somewhere might spot us. But we keep talking on the phone every day. He has asked me to be patient. Am I fooling myself into believing he will eventually leave his wife?
— Janaki

Dear Janaki,
It all depends whether he really cares for you and is keen to be with you. Presently he is indulging in an extramarital affair and his wife is aware of it. He may have asked you to be patient, but does he envisage a future with you? Is he willing to leave his wife? Only if you are sure about it stick around or it is better to go your way.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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