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I detest my girlfriend's smoking habit

Dear Diana,
I met my girlfriend in college. At that time we both used to smoke as everyone did it. It was cool to puff away. But after a short while, I gave it up. I told her to quit smoking too. But she found it difficult. Now four years down the line when I am serious about taking my relationship to the next level, we talked about her smoking habit. She told me she had no problem giving it up for me. But after a few days, she started it again. She thinks she can smoke behind my back but she doesn't understand that I care about her health. She says she doesn't want to stop because she likes it. Do I have a right to tell her?
- Pranay


Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Pranay,
It is very hard to break away from the addiction all of a sudden. It requires tremendous willpower which your girl lacks. So give her time. You could do it in the earlier stages and that was great. You are concerned about her health and the dangers associated with it. But remember she can't just stop because you are telling her too. She will stop when she has the strength to, and if you can't cope with it, you really must leave her and find someone else. She needs you to help motivate her, your nagging and threats really won't help. So give her a helping hand instead. Also, remember if you were a smoker, she would have married you, right? Would you have given it up? Think about it before you reprimand her next.

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