'I don't like my girlfriend talking to other guys...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with my girlfriend for over a year. She is extremely social and has a huge circle of friends. As I am an introvert, I do not have too many pals nor do I like to socialise. Whenever I hang out with her bunch of pals, I hate it when she talks to her male buddies. I really do not know how she can be comfortable with them. She can strike a friendship with any guy while I get tongue-tied talking to girls. As my girlfriend stays in the neighbourhood, I have known her since childhood and one of the few girls I was comfortable with. With every passing day, I feel insecure when she talks to a male pal or pays too much attention to them. I know I'm sounding like an insecure guy, but that's how I am. I don't know how to bring about a change in my attitude.
— Samar

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Samar,
You are not sounding like an insecure guy, you are one. The fact that she is open about her friendship with her male pals, she has nothing to hide. You are there by her side when she is hanging out with them, so there is nothing to worry about. With this kind of attitude, everyone and everything will be under suspect for you. As you have a jealous and suspicious mind, you will continuously doubt her. You need to stop being suspicious as this will lead to a strain in the relationship. Just because your girlfriend speaks to a guy, there is no need to get so paranoid. It does not mean that she is having an affair with anyone. There is space for you and her large bunch of pals. Tell her what is going on in your mind. She appears to be mature enough to handle it. She will probably have a good laugh about it. Meanwhile, you need to relax and put all your fears to rest. You need to take a lesson or two from your girlfriend about how to make friends.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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