'I don't want to get engaged...'

Jun 16, 2015, 06:23 IST | Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
My engagement date has been set for next month. It has been fixed by my family. The boy's side was introduced to us through some common friends. I have seen the guy only once, when he came over to see me with his family. The guy is taking up a job in the Gulf, so his folk want him to get engaged before he leaves. I do not understand why they are insisting on an engagement before he goes. He will be back after almost a year. I am not too keen to get engaged. I am 25 and my parents feel he is the right choice for me. I really do not know what I am getting into. I am scared about what is going to happen. I spend sleepless nights worrying what I am getting into. When I told my mother, she said all girls go through such anxious moments. I do not even know this guy and I will be spending the rest of my life with him. How do I put off the engagement ceremony at least for now?
— Veena


Dear Veena
Your fears and apprehensions are justified as you don't know the guy at all. You need to get to know each other before the engagement. May be he, too, feels the same way and is equally apprehensive. Why don't you tell your folk that you want to get to know him? Spend time with him, this is the only way you can familiarise yourself with him before he takes up his overseas job assignment. Before you take the extreme step of saying no to the engagement, you need to speak to him and express your fears to him. If he is a caring guy, he will understand your predicament and perhaps even allay your fears. You will be able to gauge what kind of a guy he is by the way he reacts. You may feel that he is not the right guy for you, but get to know him first and only then take your decision accordingly. What if you gel well with him? So do not take a hasty decision.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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