'I fancy my boyfriend's cousin...'

Dear Diana,
I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for over a year. We are both 23. Recently though, I’ve started developing feelings for his cousin who sometimes visits him. He’s 25 and has a girlfriend. I really don’t want to ruin anything for now. But how do I stop liking him? What should I do?
— Ella

Dear Ella,
First of all, ask yourself whether you love him or is it just an attraction. You may have got drawn to him, but you barely know him. You may be seeing him at your guy’s place, but once you get to know him you might have a different opinion about him. If you express your feelings you will create havoc not only in your life, but also that of your guy as well as in his cousin and his girlfriend’s life. It appears that you have fallen for him, but he has no clue and already has someone on the scene. Give yourself some time, may be you will overcome the feeling.

Dear Diana,
My guy recently walked out on me. We were together for almost two years. He always wanted to get physical with me and if I resisted he would get upset and not talk to me. I would tell him talk to me, but sex was always uppermost on his mind. Out of the blue he came and told me that I should not talk to him and behave. He has now quit his job too. I feel humiliated. I would repeatedly tell him I’d be content with being his close pal, but he did not want friendship, only a physical relationship. Why can’t he talk to me the way I am talking to him? Why did he suddenly become rude?
— Sheena

Dear Sheena,
This guy took you for a ride. He used you to satisfy his needs and the day he was bored of you he dumped you. You may have wished that he remained your buddy forever, but he had other things on his mind. It will be difficult for you, but move on and time will heal your wounds.

Diana will solve it!

Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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