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'I feel guilty about my mother's death...'

Dear Diana,
I’m 17 and can't get over my mother’s death. She passed away four months ago. I am not only still mourning, but I feel guilty all the time. She died in a road mishap and it was me who had insisted that we go out on the trip.

During the funeral and later when people would talk about how she died, it was always my name that would crop up. This only made me feel more guilty. Though my father and grandparents are around, I feel all alone. I miss her every single day and it’s been horrible for me since her sudden demise.

I’ve stopped going out except to college and coaching class. In the house, everything reminds me of her. My dad and friends want me to meet people and socialise, but whenever I do it, I feel more lonely and guilty.
- Dhruv


Illustrations/Amit Bandre

Dear Dhruv,
You cannot undo what has happened. It’s been only four months, so give yourself time to overcome the grief. Time heals everything. As months and years pass, the hurt and guilt will lessen. Your mother will always be an important part of your life and you will always miss her.

No one can take her place. However over time, you will realise that the hurt will lessen. You are still young, the faster you move on, the quicker will be the healing process. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, take control of your life.

It was an accident and her time had come. There is no point feeling guilty about it. You are not to blame. Right now, studies matter in your life. So work hard and excel in your studies just what your mother would have wanted you to do.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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