'I get tongue-tied when he is around...'

Dear Diana,
I am 22 and studying for my postgraduation. I have always been shy and an introvert. I just can't bring myself to engage in a conversation with a guy. I don't know what happens to me. I am scared to say something that might offend the person. This leads to several awkward moments whenever a guy is around. I like this guy in my class, but my problem is I get tongue-tied in front of him. Unlike other girls in my class, I just cannot initiate a conversation with him. When he is around, I don't know what happens to me. My heart starts beating fast and I go weak in my knees. I think he realises that I am uncomfortable and does take the initiative to strike a conversation with me, but I cannot muster enough courage to go beyond a hi and bye. How do I make myself comfortable when he is around?
— Shamira


Dear Shamira,
There is no need to get scared or think too much about what he will think. He is a classmate, so you have enough stuff like lectures, professors, exams and canteen to talk about. As he is taking the initiative, just go with the flow of the conversation. Just be yourself and talk the way you would to anyone else. Make the conversation as general as possible. Remember he might also be feeling the same way when you are around him. You seem to have a fear that you may do something that might make him think otherwise but relax and stop being paranoid and talk to him like others do. This will enable you to be confident. Also, get the gender divide out of your head. Each guy and girl has his or her share of fears and insecurities. Yours seems to be greatly heightened. The only way out is to be yourself. Don't try to be what you are not as it will only worsen the situation.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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