'I keep falling in and out of love...'

Dear Diana,
I don’t know if there is something wrong with me, but I keep falling in and out of love. My last relationship lasted barely six months. One fine day, I realised that everything the girl did irritated me and we eventually broke up. Prior to that I was in a relationship with a girl for over a year, but I couldn’t handle it when she told me to get engaged. She wanted me to commit and I developed cold feet. I am 31 and often feel that I will end up alone. I have had girlfriends since the age of 23, but they all dumped me when they realised I was not serious about them. Do I suffer from commitment phobia? I tend to get stifled very soon, within months of the relationship. I do feel miserable after the break up, but when I find the next girl I fancy, it is all forgotten. How do I stick on in a relationship. Or have I not found the right girl? I don’t know why I am scared to commit.
— Dev

Illustrations/Amit Bandre
Illustrations/Amit Bandre

Dear Dev,
You are 31 and not a teenybopper to fall in and out of love with any girl who crosses your path. You are behaving like a juvenile who keeps having a crush on someone every now and then. My gut feeling is that you are scared to commit. You need to realise that if you continue to pursue relationships like these, there is a chance that you will not find a suitable partner. Instead of getting irritated and annoyed in the relationship, why don’t you invest time and thought into determining how to improve your chances of staying in the relationship? If you get into it thinking that it wouldn’t last, it wouldn’t. So change your mindset and the next time devote more thought to making it last.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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