'I keep thinking about my ex boyfriend...'

Dear Diana,
It has been years since I broke up with my ex boyfriend, but I cannot get him out of my head. I keep fantasising about him. That he is there with me and we are talking and getting physical. I don't understand why I can't get over him even after all these years. We have not been in touch ever since we broke off seven years ago. He just walked out on me one day. Though I could see it coming when he would not reply to my calls and avoid talking to me. If only he had told me why he wanted to go his way. I went though some tough times and the break up was traumatic for me. I sobbed for months as I felt alone. He just did not care for me. Though later I was seeing another guy, I would always dream about being with my ex. I just want to stop thinking about my ex. Should I meet him again to seek closure? Or just let him be?
— Devki

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite 

Dear Devki,
It could be that as you did not seek closure, his memories still haunt you. From what you have said, this guy dumped you all of a sudden, so why are you even thinking about him? Considering what he did, you needed to move on. He did not care for you. Perhaps he used you to satisfy his sexual urges and left you when he lost interest in you. Given the scenario, do not even try to get in touch with him. If he does not respond, it will leave you feeling even more humiliated and depressed. The next time you go on the remember him mode, tell yourself this guy was a jerk. He left you, so why waste your time dreaming about him. It appears that you were more serious about the relationship than he was. You need to keep yourself busy so that you do not harbour any thoughts about him. Let him remain where he is — in your past. He has nothing to do with you, so do not even bother to think about him. He did not deserve your love.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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