I love her, but what if my girlfriend isn't The One?

Dec 06, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

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Dr. Love

Dr. LoveI have been with the same girl for four years now, and we are considering marriage. I have serious doubts about this at times though, because it seems as if I am trapped. We haven't dated anyone else since we got together in college, and I don't know if I am losing out on a great relationship with someone who may be better for me just because I am obligated to be with my girlfriend. This sounds selfish, and I really do love her, but I am just not sure if she's the one I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. I can't talk to her about this because she may be heartbroken, but it's keeping me up at night. How do I make this feeling go away?

I'm not sure if what you refer to as doubts aren't just the usual feelings most people go through when they decide to settle down with someone. Everything you say exists in the realm of speculation. Yes, you may meet someone spectacular, you may become a movie star, you may find someone who places you on a pedestal, you may find someone who will sweep you off your feet and pay for a romantic honeymoon in Europe, but the thing you really need to focus on is how you feel right now, with this person who is obviously an important part of your life. How do you feel about her? What space does she occupy in your life? What would your life be like if she weren't around? How does she make you feel? You may never be sure about whether the person you are currently with (for years now) is the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. You may also never be sure about whether that ideal partner exists. I suggest you watch fewer American romcoms and start evaluating how important your girlfriend is in your life before you do something stupid.

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